ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
