Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
