Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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