I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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