considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
