Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
