Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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