took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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