There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
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she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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