I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize