Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
