Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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