I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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