dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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