he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
