Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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