we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize