even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize