i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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