If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
