we have pet lesbian snakes
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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