Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
