2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
