Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He called his prostate his "boner button".
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
