Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
