Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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