Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I look better un-naked...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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