oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
