my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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