The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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