Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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