My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
