You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
