In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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