Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We got so high we made milksteak
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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