i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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