He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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