Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
