So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
