You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
