He kissed a someone with a penis
love makes seman taste better
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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