If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
