I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
