Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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