seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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