At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You took a bar mat shot.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
