Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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