I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
