Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I need moral support for this bender
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
