I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
