well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
