So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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