dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
