Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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