She's like a pop up book from hell.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize