I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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