Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"

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(310): View more from California

I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.

Fav 15 1856 3214
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(216): View more from Ohio

We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

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(804): View more from Virginia

I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off

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(908): View more from New Jersey

When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?

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(008): View more from

I think your husband is breaking up with me...

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(407): View more from Florida

My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?

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(702): View more from Nevada

Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes

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