so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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