I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
