Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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