i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
