Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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